Par for the Course

True story, supposedly. A friend of mine was questioned by his wife about a cable TV bill, rather an item on the bill.

"What's this charge to the Spice Channel for 6 minutes? I'm not mad or anything(yeah right), just curious as to why it's just 6 minutes."

"That's all I needed".

Now I don't know about you, but I'd consider that a pretty efficient service. Get those urges quelled, at least momentarily, all in the time it'd take you to smoke a cigarette or fry an egg. Or call in your unemployment. And all in time for the commercial.

You see music downloaded by the tune, pizza ordered by the slice, why not porn by the stroke? And not unlike golf, the fewer strokes the better. Thus, a particularly hot porn video would be one you've never seen the end of. Hey, six minutes was all I needed..

The fact that you can charge your Six Minutes of Lust to your VISA card kinda takes this whole thing in some different directions, gives it kind of a fast-food tinge since it's Fast Sex: your own little "Happy Meal" as it were...I could see the two combined, food and sex in this way as far as packaging, but hopefully the cuisine side would be a bit higher on the (forgive me for this)food chain:

"Yes, I'd like the ribeye steak, medium-rare, Caesar salad and a blowjob(or muffdive- let's not forget the ladies here!)" The total dining experience. Definitely a full-service operation. You go home happy, having not only filled your belly but shot your wad.

And people who've just gotten laid, or just got their nut off in any event, are much less likely to commit any kind of violent crimes. They're pretty chilled usually, and would just as soon go home. So it seems that society as a whole would benefit from this unique hybrid service.

Yeah, right.