Butt Beautiful

There is a great old tune called But Beautiful,

which I used to love to call on gigs with a certain trumpet player as Beautiful Butt. He'd start to look up Beautiful Butt, and then stop and make a snorting sound of exasperation, realizing that he'd been had. Got him damn near every time with that one. 

The beauteous butt you see before you here belongs to one Jen Selter, who is 20 years old, and from Long Island NY. She lives in Manhattan, and I guess makes her living as an exercise guru/spokesperson/model. I stumbled onto a picture of her on Facebook, and then made a beeline to Youtube. And then probably spent wayyy too much time looking at her many pictures and videos. 

But then that's what guys do. This guy anyway. Besides her obvious attribute(s)of a maximized gluteus, she has a very pretty face(I love blue-eyed brunettes, the contrast of light eyes with the dark hair)and a nice compact little body. A most pleasant viewing experience. Reminds me a little bit of a younger Jillian Michaels. 

In middle-aged coots like me, someone like this brings out the I Dream of Jeannie fantasy- and this time I get to be Major Anthony Nelson(in real life I've always been more Roger Healey in this department). She still spends her mornings working out, but instead of doing it for her career, she's doing it for me! After her workout, she comes home, drops the laundry,  and ends up in a spin-cycle with me- and I'm not talking washing machines.

Well maybe I Dream of Jeannie is more than a bit chauvinistic on my part. Okay, same fantasy, only without the subservience(and having to live all cramped up in a bottle)but still total devotion to moi. 

I do see as viable that whole Six Degrees of Separation thing, where each of us is(a maximum of)six people away from every other person in the world. Especially if you've reached out at all into said world. As a musician(and I'm certainly not unique in this), I've met folks from all over the planet. So however tenuous the connections, I'm probably six people away from Jen Selter.

 So what would we do once we got there? Well unless she was looking for some kind of Father figure, or has a weakness for middle-aged guys who play jazz guitar(I didn't see anything to that effect in her profile, although I guess I could've missed it..)I imagine her reaction would be something in the neighborhood of ewww. 

Welll, hopefully she'd be kinder than that. I must say, of all the little poster/mottos she had interspersed with her pictures, I saw no sign of meanness. They were all in the nature of be yourself and don't let the bastards get you down. Actually those are both just fine. 

With me it'd be the exhilaration of being with such a beautiful young woman(with maybe a sort of bucket list undertone: I've never had anyone that attractive), and then whatever she had to bring to the table from there. I imagine at best(improbable, frickin' chimerical best!)it would be a wonderful two weeks. At some point,  the great cultural gap between us, would rear its ugly(but sensible)head- and that would be that. 

Well, here at age 59, my last year as a quintagenarian, in the dead of a long and seemingly interminable Winter, a nice fantasy for a day. I may have another day when I check back in with Miss Butt Beautiful and see how things are in her world. It'll probably still be a couple people away from mine- but then she could have an epiphany about just how cool us middle-aged jazz guitarists are. Yeah, right...