The Path of Colon Cleansing: Hot Sauce as a Upaya

Upaya, as I understand it, means basically the method of one's endeavor, and is usually meant to indicate a self-devised way along the path to enlightenment. It's one of the cool Hindu words I learned many years ago reading Be Here Now. Another one I like is siddhis, which means "powers". Also sadhana. One's spiritual work, of which I suppose this is a part. Well, after awhile, everything becomes part of your sadhana. 
  
In my last blog(A Public Service Announcement- really, that's what it's called!)I talked about the gentle rectal relief provided by Celery in one's diet as a means to cleansing one's Colon. And I'm here today to talk about what may well be the polar opposite, an antithetical(but still perhaps effective)approach. 

People probably aren't aware of the extensive research that goes into writing Roger U Roundly. Why, I've spent as much as 45 minutes to an hour on Wikipedia gathering, collating information to bring to you right here. And Colon Cleansing was no exception. I did look into it briefly here on the world wide web. But to be honest, I found it kind of boring. Not to mention disgusting. 

So I turned my attention instead to the various hot sauces on the market, initially one called Colon Cleanser. Back in my daygig days, someone brought it in on a food day, along with another such product called Ass from Hell. 

These products, it would seem, also purport to clean out your Colon, although through more severe means. This is, then, the hard stool school, the anal academy of austerity in purification. In Hindi, it's called Tapasya. Straightening by fire, as it were. And in my research, I found a plethora of such products, some with pretty creative names. Sphincter Shrinker, for instance. 

There's also a Dr Assburn's, and Mega Death- and what has to be my hands-down favorite "offensive" hot sauce name: Anal Angst. 
       
   For me, personally, if I were concerned with Colon care(man, this Colon stuff sounds funny no matter how you put it!), I would probably opt for the gentler way. The way of Celery. Celery-Do.  But to each his own. Both approaches apparently take you to the same place. Colon Samadhi. This is a non-dualistic state of being where you and your Colon become one. 

I guess this is one area in which my life has been a fortunate one. For 59 years now, my Colon and I have had an existence where we're blissfully unaware of one another, and I hope it stays that way. No more Hindu words or terms at this point(I don't know too many more of them anyway!)but rather a Country Western song, to capture the relationship between me and my Colon, and what I hope continues: If the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me.