More on Stoopid Names
Awhile back I wrote a piece called What's in a Name, which I posted here. It focused mainly on ghetto and/or preppy names and the motivations thereof. I maintained that one's name is simply a point of departure.
Still, like bumper stickers, names tell us a lot about the person. That is, how people choose to display their names. Their characters, their beliefs, their prejudices.
Even though I know and like several women who've chosen to give their last name a 'wedgie', I don't generally dig the whole hyphenated last name thing. I understand the motivation behind it, but - well I guess it's more about the particular women I've met who've hyphenated than the act itself. The ones I didn't like. The ones with a board up their ass. And/or with an "I'm-gonna-get-what's-mine" sort of attitude..
Which is a lot of 'em. Unfortunately.
A hyphenated name takes longer to say and longer to write. Those extra bytes are like taking an extra seat on the bus. Thus it becomes cumbersome(and sometimes comical)to read in an article: 'but Schnarf-Leehak was in opposition to Feffern-Minoxodyl's stance on gun control. Furthermore, Schnarf-Leehak...'
Maybe instead of tacking on a second surname, how about combining the two? So, instead of Schnarf-Leehak, you'd have Schleehak. And hey-- instead of the lengthy Feffern-Minoxodyl, a more succinct Feffinoxodyl.
This name thing can get real silly. (Right, like this article has been all high seriousness up to now..) Consider, however, if you will, the marriage of one Faun-Dawn Skibab(pronounced skee-bob, and yes of hillbilly parentage), to Willis D'Boemchek(pronounced daboomchick). If she follows through with the Politically Correct last name, she'd be Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek.
Yes. Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek. "Hello, I'm Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek. And you?" The other person is dancing by the time you finish saying your name.
Or laughing. Okay, let's say Willis D'Boemchek and Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek have a couple of kids: oh, let's see, Demian and Agatha, both D'Boemchek's. They split up and Faun-Dawn meets and marries Bill Pflaar(pronounced fflahr). Which would make her....
Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek-Pflaar.
If pronounced right, it's almost like a Square Dance hand. Allemande left, D'Boemchek-Pflaar...Hopefully in her second marriage she won't be bringing as much baggage as her last name(s)
Still, like bumper stickers, names tell us a lot about the person. That is, how people choose to display their names. Their characters, their beliefs, their prejudices.
Even though I know and like several women who've chosen to give their last name a 'wedgie', I don't generally dig the whole hyphenated last name thing. I understand the motivation behind it, but - well I guess it's more about the particular women I've met who've hyphenated than the act itself. The ones I didn't like. The ones with a board up their ass. And/or with an "I'm-gonna-get-what's-mine" sort of attitude..
Which is a lot of 'em. Unfortunately.
A hyphenated name takes longer to say and longer to write. Those extra bytes are like taking an extra seat on the bus. Thus it becomes cumbersome(and sometimes comical)to read in an article: 'but Schnarf-Leehak was in opposition to Feffern-Minoxodyl's stance on gun control. Furthermore, Schnarf-Leehak...'
Maybe instead of tacking on a second surname, how about combining the two? So, instead of Schnarf-Leehak, you'd have Schleehak. And hey-- instead of the lengthy Feffern-Minoxodyl, a more succinct Feffinoxodyl.
This name thing can get real silly. (Right, like this article has been all high seriousness up to now..) Consider, however, if you will, the marriage of one Faun-Dawn Skibab(pronounced skee-bob, and yes of hillbilly parentage), to Willis D'Boemchek(pronounced daboomchick). If she follows through with the Politically Correct last name, she'd be Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek.
Yes. Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek. "Hello, I'm Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek. And you?" The other person is dancing by the time you finish saying your name.
Or laughing. Okay, let's say Willis D'Boemchek and Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek have a couple of kids: oh, let's see, Demian and Agatha, both D'Boemchek's. They split up and Faun-Dawn meets and marries Bill Pflaar(pronounced fflahr). Which would make her....
Faun-Dawn Skibab-D'Boemchek-Pflaar.
If pronounced right, it's almost like a Square Dance hand. Allemande left, D'Boemchek-Pflaar...Hopefully in her second marriage she won't be bringing as much baggage as her last name(s)
posted by Roger U Roundly at 9:44 PM
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