My New View

This is the view I now enjoy from my new deck. As far as actual physical views, actual scenic vistas, there are certainly better and worse. What's most important is that it's a very comfortable spot in which to sit, whether viewing the world figures into it or not. It just feels good. Simple as that.

I remember before I committed to buying this place, back in 1996, I came over a time or two and just hung out on the back porch. And I recall feeling very-- comfortable. Muy simpatico. Strangely enough, I never sat out there much after that, partly because it was just a little too small, and later falling apart. Maybe all it needed was another 12 feet.

I had to wait until I could afford it though, and that ended up being late last year, around Thanksgiving. Not a lot of nice days left in the year to enjoy it, but there have been a few. And a few this month. Well, plenty of days await this year as we move into Spring-and then Summer and Fall. So far, just a place to sit with my coffee, but I'm sure it will become a place to sit with my beer as well--and even for others to sit with their coffee and/or beer or whatever.

Actually, it's not a new view at all, just a different perspective. But it sure improves the view..

My Pal

As far as things domestic, since becoming a homeowner, this little guy has been a big help to me on many an occasion. I should say at the outset here, that I am not in any way shape or form a handyman of even the lowest order. A bit of a regret, but one moves on with one's life, and works with what one has.

Not being particularly handy or mechanical, there are nonetheless a few simple things I can manage without assistance. I can change a mean light bulb(and also the filters on the furnace in the basement- yeah, I'm trying to impress you here!), and also unclog a mean sink or toilet.

This latter skill would not be possible without that unsung unclog hero the plunger. So here's to you, pal, for all those fixes to my toilets and sinks. And thanks to you, besides the lightbulb-changing ability, I have an actual domestic skill.

I'm not too shabby at boiling water either..

Back Porch Makeover

Well it can now be told. This is a classic before-and-after situation with my back porch. As you can see from the before picture, it was about ready to fall into the abyss- and take me and more than a few bucks with it! Real Dogpatch USA stuff.

But then you can see from the after picture that I'm not necessarily into elegance either. Well-built functionality is just fine with me. And my new deck has both these qualities. Plus it's very comfortable. It feels good to hang out there. Unfortunately, this work was done very late in 2011, around Thanksgiving, so not a lot of nice weather in which to enjoy it. But until Spring gets here, I'll take my unseasonal days when we get 'em.

Like I said, it's a very comfortable space. So far it's just been me with my coffee, but I'm sure come the warmer weather that it will be a nice place to enjoy that Corona after a roughass Mnday at work. Plus a place to actually entertain guests- food, drink and merriment.

You've gotta enjoy your small victories in life, and this back porch makeover was one of them. Looking forward to many nice times out on the deck.

Vacation

No I'm not homeless. And I'm in a better humor than the expression on this pic would indicate. This is the picture of a man on a much-needed vacation. Just took it myself(of myself)a minute ago. Thought it might give things a certain spur-of-the-moment quality, as if to say 'this is me right this minute, like it or lump it'.

I'm now on my first official vacation day. Official here meaning that I'm getting paid for it. Well, I had this past Friday off as well for Veterans Day, but that was a day we all got paid for. Sorta like Texas Hold 'em, where you have common cards and then cards that only you(or your opponents)hold.

So I'm on my cards now. The last two days of my vacation--'officially' anyway--are the two days we get for Thanksgiving, so I'll end my vacation back with common cards. With the stuff in the middle. (I used to host a Poker game for some years, and we called Texas Hold 'em "Shit in the Middle" because of the common cards: the shit in the middle. Well, okay, we did a bit of imbibing during those games..)

Actually my vacation began this last Thursday at 4:30 in the afternoon, when I left work. This is my fourth vacation day out of 17. Whether it's charged to vacation or holiday leave, regardless of the cost center or budget code(s), time off all feels the same.

It may not sound like a lot of time, but I've waited six months for this two-week reprieve from the rigors of daygig. My last vacation was a week and a day, at the very beginning of April; then a hypertrophic weekend around the 4th of July(5 days); then a day or half-day here and there, until finally my time was here!

I'm grateful to have the job I have, especially in this day and age, but also appreciate getting the hell away from it for these periods. Without divulging what I do from 8 to 4:30 Monday through Friday, let's just say it has to do with helping people who don't have jobs- and as such, business is especially booming these days, as you can imagine. Very draining at times, given the problems you hear and try to help solve.

And that's all I'm going to say about work. Glad to have it, but also glad to be up and outa there for a little while. Away from the daily grind. It'll be there when I get back..

For now, I'm on vacation! One thing I do every time out is overeat, just like a teenager on a break from school. I don't drink all that much anymore, so this is where the binge instinct manifests itself. Usually junk food, normally Cheetos. And then I pay the price with throne time. Already gotten that phase of things out of the way in the 'pre-vacation' segment of my time off(Fri Sat Sun), both the excess Cheeto ingestion and the penance time moanin' on the throne.

Actually fostering two good habits this time out: regular guitar practice and semi-regular hours. Well, my pets have something to do with this second item, since they're on me in the morning to get their breakfasts going and a few of my other morning chores. There is one window the cats like to look out of, so it is my morning duty to make sure those blinds are raised. I'm both cook and custodian as far as they're concerned.

Ah, vacation! Still very early on. I can't believe I've got two whole weeks. In the words of Elmer Fudd, "West and wewaxation at wast!!" With that, I'm sure more blogs will follow. As always, thanks for stopping in here.

Celebrities' Real Names

There are a number of us at work who have an affinity for trivia. I have participated in a couple of Trivia Night events over the past year or so, and had a ball with it. One category that's come up is Celebrities' Real Names. Someone brought in a list, courtesy of the internet. Naturally I got a copy of it..

Here is a list of all the ones I can remember, some from the list and others I just knew. Interesting to note the differences between the nom de voyage and the real name: the stage name is either more anglicized(more white-bread)or just more euphonious or exciting.


Judy Garland--Frances Gumm
Jack Benny- Benjamin Kubelsky
Jane Seymour--Joyce Frankenberg
Woody Allen- Allen Stuart Konigsberg
George Burns- Nathan Bierbaum
Mel Brooks- Melvin Kaminsky
John Denver--Henry John Deutschendorf
Sally Field- Sally Mahoney
Rock Hudson--Roy Scherer Jr
Suzanne Somers- Suzanne Mahoney
Danny Thomas--Muzyad Yakoob
Angie Dickinson- Angelina Johnson
Kirk Douglas--Issur Demsky
Billie Holliday- Eleanora Fagan
Karl Malden--Mladen Sekulovich
Orson Bean--Dallas Burrows
Jerry Lewis--Joseph Levitch
Red Buttons--Aaron Chwatt
John Forsythe--John Lincoln Freund
Michael Landon--Eugene Michael Orwitz
Bea Arthur--Bernice Frankel
Gene Wilder--Jerome Silberman
Robert Blake--Michael Gubitosi
Tony Randall--Leonard Rosenberg
Tammy Wynette--Wynetta Pugh
Jimmy Dean--Seth Ward
Eric Clapton--Eric Clapp
Huey Lewis--Hugh Cregg
Sandra Dee--Alexandra Zuck
Bobby Darin--Walden Robert Cassotto
Alan Alda--Alfonso D'Arbruzzo
Eddie Albert--Edward Albert Heimberger
Lee J Cobb--Lee Jacob
Ellen Burstyn--Edna Gilhooley
Whoopi Goldberg--Caryn Johnson
Dean Martin--Dino Crocetti
Inger Stevens--Inger Stensen
Shelley Winters--Shirley Schrift
Shirley Booth--Thelma Booth Ford
Nicholas Cage--Nicholas Coppola
Tony Danza--Anthony Iadanza
Jill St John--Jill Oppenheim
Raquel Welch--Raquel Tejada
Lauren Bacall--Betty Joan Perske
Michael Caine--Maurice Mickelwhite
Jamie Farr--Jameel Farah
Jodie Foster--Alicia Christian Foster
Elvis Costello- Declan McManus
Roy Rogers-- Leonard Slye
Dale Evans--Frances Octavia Smith
Natalie Wood--Natasha Gurdin
Lana Wood--Svetlana Gurdin
William Holden--William Franklin Beedle Jr
Ted Knight--Tadeus Konopka
Anne Bancroft--Anna Italiano
Shirley MacLaine--Shirley Beaty
Martin Sheen-- Ramon Estevez
Charlie Sheen--Carlos Estevez
Ringo Starr--Richard Starkey
Richard Burton--Richard Jenkins
Twiggy--Leslie Hornby
Les Paul--Lester Polfus
John Wayne--Marian Michael Morrison
Larry King--Larry Ziegler
Bernadette Peters--Bernadette Lazzaro
Cheryl Ladd--Cheryl Stoppelmoor
Chad Everett--Raymond Compton
Cary Grant--Archibald Leach
Burl Ives--Berle Ivanhoe
Diane Keaton--Diane Hall
Michael Keaton--Michael Douglas
Tom Cruise--Thomas Cruise Mapother IV
Harry Morgan-Harry Bratsburg
Lou Diamond Phillips--Lou Upchurch
Tim Allen--Timothy Allen Dick
Tina Turner--Annie Mae Bullock
Bobbie Gentry--Roberta Streeter
Mark Twain--Samuel Langhorne Clemens
George Orwell--Eric Blair
Candace Azzara--Matilda Azzara
Billy Idol--William Board
Sting--Gordon Sumner
Donna Summer- LaDonna Andrea Gaines
Don Ameche--Dominic Amici
Pat Benatar--Patricia Andrezewski
Crystal Gayle--Brenda Webb
Muhammed Ali--Cassius Clay
Barry Manilow--Barry Alan Pincus
Marilyn Monroe--Norma Jean Baker
Chevy Chase--Cornelius Crane Chase
Bob Hope--Leslie Towne Hope
Lou Costello--Louis Cristillo
Rodney Dangerfield--Jacob Cohen
Kim Hunter--Janet Cole
Meatloaf--Marvin Lee Adair
Troy Donahue--Merle Johnson Jr
Moe Howard--Moses Horwitz
Curly Howard--Jerome Horwitz
Shemp Howard--Samuel Horwitz
Olivia Hussey--Olivia Osuna
Tony Bennett--Antonio Benedetto
Sophia Loren- Sofia Scicolono
Sigourney Weaver--Susan Weaver
Dyan Cannon- Samile Diane Fiersen
Pat Martino- Pat Azzara
Fred Astaire- Frederick Austerlitz
Joan Crawford- Lucille LeSeure
Morgan Fairchild- Patsy Ann McClenny
Roger U Roundly--Sam Crain(who?)

Okay, that's all my brain can muster in this sitting. More than a few others, but seemingly half-remembered. Seems like these could easily be categorized into Actors/Actresses, Authors, Musicians, and General Celebs. Maybe next time. Hope you enjoy these. Might be one in here you didn't know.

Celebrity Dump

I guess I'm thinking along the lines of a Reality TV Show, where different celebrities are filmed performing that usually brief but intimate personal act of elimination. Not too graphic, necessarily, most shots from the waist up would be fine- but we'd definitely want to catch that furrowed brow, that frown which signifies that a loaf is indeed being pinched. The act of defecation, which makes it a --Celebrity Dump.

Of course, this is where the actor's craft comes in. The struggle to release that recalcitrant rectal rocket, that leviathan Lincoln Log of fecal matter, and how that plays on his or her face. Or they could play it in less epic terms, as an everyday event, or with great subtlety of understatement. But this would be the climactic point of each celebrity episode: the release, and how it's played on the face of each celebrity taking a dump.

Now I didn't mean for this to include only the theatrical community(that would be Shitting with the Stars). No, Celebrity Dump would include celebrated persons who are not and will(hopefully)never be actors: politicians, lawyers, doctors, you name it just as long as they're--celebrated. Not too graphic, mind you--mostly shot from the waist up, but the wiping and flushing would be filmed in some manner.

No, the main thrust of this series is that all the people taking dumps are celebrated persons. People whose lives we often live vicariously. People we'd often rather be than ourselves. Sorta like Ozzy(???).

Amore No More

Well maybe it wasn't really "amore" after all. Maybe more a matter of convenience, of going for what's in front of you in life. Sometimes the way to get ahead in life, if you've been in a 'drought' situation(whether in your employment or your love life)is to take the first "yes" you get and go from there. The "yes" you respond to may turn out to be your dream job or dream person and end up fulfilling all or at least most of your needs in this area.

Or maybe it won't.

If it doesn't look like it's going to fit the bill, if there's more potential unhappiness than happiness, then you would do well to exit the relationship. This depends of course on how much time and energy you have invested. In my marriage, I hung in there and hung in there and hung in there some more, until it was finally evident that we at least needed some time away from one another. We talked about reconciling, but I decided not to, figuring that we'd get into the same arguments, the same power-plays, all the same stuff that drove us apart in the first place. Best to just keep going and not look back.

This current relationship was just a couple of months. Many phone calls and emails and a handful of get-togethers. She came into my life during what was a tough time for me. I had some health issues, some things with me that needed fixing, over which I was a bit apprehensive. One of the things I had to tend to earlier in the year was cataract surgery, something she'd already been through. This was implicitly reassuring, the fact that she'd already covered the ground I was afraid to walk over, the hot coals of my uncertainty. Plus she was an intelligent person, seemed to be well-educated and not without her charms.

I should probably add here that this was an internet meeting, from a dating site we both subscribed to, and that she initiated the relationship. She wrote first, and I decided to go for it. An attractive person, as it turned out, a bit tall for my taste, but I decided to try and overcome my prejudice in this area.

And I have, at 5'4" , been the recipient of height prejudice(in the other way of course), so I was thinking something along the lines of not doing unto her as I've been done unto. And with that, speaking of 'amore no more', maybe I was even thinking past her already(before even starting off), hoping that my lack of prejudice here would somehow karmically affect some woman down the road into a similar attitude toward me. Some short woman would pick me over some tall guy.

So for whatever reason or reasons, however convoluted or just pathetically chimerical, I decided to look past the height differential. She's intelligent and clever and attractive, and very complimentary towards moi, always telling me I'm gorgeous(believe me, I know I'm not, but it's nice to hear)and so forth. And it's a time when I'm most vulnerable, looking at friggin' eye surgeries and all that entails. What's not to go for here?

Naturally, as you get to know someone, you learn all the crap they carry around with them. All their problems, whether familial, social, physical or mental. Mainly door number 3 here, which of course can open up door number 4 on occasion. Well we've all got our problems, our issues, whatever door they come out of. I certainly have mine, but try to manage 'em.

Her health problems(which I will not enumerate here--protecting the innocent and all that)are from all indications, pretty serious. At times, they're incapacitating. There were occasions where she'd have to leave here to go home and take pain medications. She had her good days and bad days with all this, but mobility was definitely an issue.

The mobility was of course most apparent when we were out together. I am(at least so far)more of the Speedy Gonzalez school: a peripatetic, zippin'-around kinda guy, and she was cousin Slowpoke Rodriguez, so I had to slow it wayyyy down. This plus the height difference(about 5 inches)made me a bit uncomfortable. Us out in the world was perhaps something I could've adjusted to eventually, but it didn't feel good.

Most of our get-togethers were spent seated, as it turned out- either out to dinner or on the couch at my place, usually the latter as time went on. I have one room in my house which is designed solely for TV viewing. It's a small room with French Doors and a giant TV in it which kinda dwarfs everything else. Oh, and a threadbare couch barely big enough for one person, let alone two. So our relationship sort of morphed into an event we called "movie night", which consisted of watching movies and such snuggled on said threadbare couch.

A very compartmentalized relationship, but as compartments go, not too shabby. Movie night was fun, it was something I enjoyed as well. I think it might have worked over a longer term had it moved from its PG rating into something beyond the point of parental guidance, could've stayed compartmentalized but as movie and sex night. For that matter, that could almost work indefinitely, provided you had both good movies and good sex...

What's most important to me in a relationship, even more than height and physical infirmities is the fact that it's a two-way street. I show you mine, you show me yours. It is part of things(see earlier paragraph)but I'm not just talking genitalia. If you know where I live, where I work and have met my friends, I should in turn know your address and where you work(or what you do to pay for yourself, or who pays for you). Seems only fair to me. If this kind of reciprocity is not going on in the relationship, then it's like the brown-skinned baby born to Chinese parents.

Sum Ting Wong.

So I decided to exit this relationship. A difficult thing to do, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. But despite the cool things about her, it just wasn't a good fit for me, at least after awhile. I think for me it just ran its course. There are things and people in your life that show up at certain opportune times, to serve a certain purpose, and I think that was the case here: to alleviate anxiety about my surgeries and to provide female companionship, something I hadn't had in awhile. And to provide companionship for her-something she hadn't had in awhile.

A relationship, it seems, is sort of an organism in itself. If you have one part out of whack, and everything else is running smoothly, the organism will compensate for it. If it's not running smoothly otherwise, if there's no homeostasis, then that one part will continue to fester and plague you. In this case it was the height difference- which, if all else were cool, would've probably made less and less difference to me. But as it was, with other stuff in there, it kinda nagged me.

So I'm back on the open market. Fortunately this woman was cool about everything, no craziness or histrionics. She thanked me for the time we had. Thank you right back, it was good for me too- maybe not for the long pull, but for what it was, you bet. And I'm glad I provided you with companionship as well, something you needed. Hope you can find someone who's a better fit for you, who can pick up where I left off.

We'll see what, if anything, life throws at me in the way of another female. It'll be what it is. I think I have a bit more to bring to it, now having had this one. For one thing, I had somebody tell me I was 'gorgeous'...

Of Crummy and Ideal Realities

Well let's consider this the 'before' picture(the one below). My back porch is a funky, fading thing, something I've wanted to fix for the longest time.Without getting fixed, it's not long for this world. So, something that doesn't have to get done right this minute, but in the next available one. Hadda get the finances somewhat, like, together, before embarking on any home-improvement projects. So now I'm ready to proceed.

I had a backyard lawn that had grown into a menagerie of plant life- mainly along the fence, but the two sides were starting to meet each other. It was a jungle. This is obviously the 'after' picture. Funny thing that sometimes you can't see one problem for another. Once all the shrubbery was cleared out, I could see with much greater clarity the state of my back porch. And maybe once the back porch is taken care of, this will illuminate yet another problem. Or, hopefully, at that point I'll just be able to hang out on my expanded back porch and enjoy it.

One step at a time. I've always wanted more of a back porch, one I could sit out on first thing in the morning or last thing at night drinking whatever fluid is appropriate for that time of day. This is where my dog has his meals, so his dining room will expand along with my back porch. Actually I'm thinking more along the lines of a deck, adding another 10-15 feet or so.

There is the present crummy reality, as pictured, and then the picture in my mind of a nice deck suitable for all manner of activity: lounging, sunbathing, eating, even screwing if the lights are off. But we ain't there yet. We're still in the present crummy-ass reality. Then again, like so many of our present crummy realities, it can be fixed. In this case, just involves getting up off of a few bucks(well more than a few).

Soon these will both be 'after' pics. Then on to another 'before'..

I Don't Understand Some of the People Here

I had kind of a perplexing Facebook experience just this past week. I think, with the unrelenting heat, it was just one of those times where everybody is a little bit on edge. Extreme heat is more enervating, more stressful, than bitter cold. So that could account for it, in part.

Just the other week there was something on Facebook, a funny link with commentary from various folks on it, one of whom I know real well and at least one I don't know at all. One of the folks I didn't know on the comment string caught my eye. I liked their FB monicker(made me laugh), and the fact that they were a young student in their college's jazz studies program- and an instrumentalist to boot(not that there's anything wrong with being a vocalist, but I love seeing girls who want to be players too). So I did something I don't usually do. I sent out a Friend Request to someone I've never met.

Sometimes you do things that aren't "you" just to change your program around, to try to set new patterns(and thus new results)in motion. And sometimes you do it purely on a whim: just because it's something you wouldn't ordinarily do. In this case it was the latter scenario, a case of 'oh why not?' Strangely enough, it was something I didn't expect to hear back on. I figured she'd get it, and go, "Ewwww- why is this middle-aged man writing to me?" And from there, just decline the request.

To my surprise, she accepted. So we became FB friends, which meant I was in her network and she was in mine. We could see each other's FB commentaries, and add our own. This is apparently where I stepped on my schvantze. She'd put up a picture of herself, which elicited a few comments, one of which was from the one friend I have(excuse me, had)in common with her. It had to do with the picture bringing out the mischief in her eyes. I clicked that I 'liked' that comment.

The next day, I brought up my Facebook page, and noticed something missing. I had one less Facebook friend. Her. Dropped her a line, saying basically "whazup?", and to her credit got a prompt reply: 'It just makes me a little uneasy when a middle-aged man I've never met likes my profile'.

That made me very uneasy, as far as that goes. For one thing, I had to realize that I am middle-aged. But seriously- or as seriously as I can take this- if you want to get technical, I indicated that I liked the comment made. This to her was tantamount to liking the profile picture itself, a much more heinous offense here. It's apparently quite inappropriate for me to like the profile picture, although I'd think it'd be okay to like the comment made, provided you make that distinction. "Like" still seems to me pretty mild, pretty innocuous though. Maybe Facebook should put another link, called "lust after". Now if you were to see that clicked by your picture, you might have something to worry about..

Being a middle-aged man, I don't go after girls this young, on Facebook or otherwise. The boundaries she was afraid were being overstepped were already in place in my own mind, only difference being that mine go just a few feet further. To me, there's nothing wrong with appreciating a nice picture of a young girl(and it was just a face shot at that, for chrissakes!). That's not grounds for de-friending someone in my opinion. What would justify hitting the zap button would be if I made off-color or suggestive remarks. But again, I'm not trying to get anything going with some girl one-third my age. Let's leave that to Hugh Hefner--though his are more at the one-eighth mark!

If I examine my motives, this is a person that I would've gone for had I been 30 years younger. Or they were 5 years older. Again, me with the jokes here--okay 25-30 years older herself. So maybe there's a little buzz in the hypothetical realm here, in what-if-world. But in the so-called real world, no I wasn't trying to get anything going. Just add a new FB friend. I mean, what the hell-maybe she has an older sister.

In situations like this, I just have to remember how differently the world looks to different people, based on where they are in their lives: what phase of life they're in, what kinds of experiences life 'throws' at them. A 19-year-old female who is petite and fairly cute is going to have quite a different spate of things made available to her than a soon-to-be-57-year-old man. The world is still a wondrous place, but peopled by more than a few creeps of the male persuasion, whose attention she's going to attract. Her uneasiness at having this strange new person 'like' her picture is justified. At least from her perspective.

One advantage to being 57 as opposed to 19 is that you don't sweat stuff like this. By the time you get here, you've been lied to and shit on a lot more, and you've had a few dreams that didn't turn out the way you wanted them to. I guess that's the price, the trade-off. All told, I still think this is probably a very nice young lady, whether she wants to be my FB friend or not. As far as the possibility of 're-friending' I don't know. I didn't know how to close things out with her, once we'd seemed to resolve this little imbroglio. Just said, 'I think we're good here', and sent her a music page of mine which has a tune or two featuring the one friend we have/had/in common.

We'll see. Not having what I consider to be good social skills, I try and work on this in just about every interaction I have. In this case I did the best I could as I do every time out. Put my best foot forward, even though it sometimes ends in my mouth.

End of the Character

I find it interesting seeing actors from one's favorite TV show or movie interviewed, noting how different or how similar they are to their characters. Larry Linville, who played Frank Burns on TV's M*A*S*H series for the first couple seasons, was 180 degrees away from the character he portrayed: low-keyed, soft-spoken, and reportedly well-liked by his castmates.

One of the comments he made about Frank Burns always stuck with me: "if Frank were to become suddenly liberalized, that would be the end of the character". Frank would, for all intents and purposes, cease to exist.

This was apparently one of his reasons for resigning from the show, the fact that he'd exhausted the potentialities of his character. Nowhere else to go with it and still keep the essential- annoying quality of Frank Burns.

The reason this remark stuck with me is that I've known people in this life who, among their various aspects of self(some of which might be wonderful), have that central something that just irritates the living shit out of you. They could be a rabble-rouser, for instance- someone who just loves, just lives to stir things up, to add drama the way you'd add salt(or A-1 sauce!) to a steak. An incendiary. More plainly put, a shit-stirrer. We have one person in particular from work who fits this description. Well okay, they embody this description.

Or they could be a nasty gossip. Someone who spreads rumors at the drop of a hat, and bad-mouths whoever has just left the room. We have someone in the musical community- well, several such someones but one in particular- who fits this description to a T. He's referred to in some circles as the Town Crier. Actually a Jekyll and Hyde thing going here: a very nice kind individual coexisting with(but frequently eclipsed by) a major asshole. Well I should say a terribly, sometimes pathetically insecure individual whose insecurities drive him to act like a - major asshole. That's the best way I can put it.

Both these individuals are my personal Frank Burnses. The rabble-rouser seems to create trouble and drama almost without intending to, like it was second nature. Like some self-destructive psychic force pulls them in. It's happened at every location they've worked: walk in, sweet-talk everyone, and then proceed to create and spread drama, and then move to a new worksite(with the staff they just left singing, "Thank God and Greyhound you're gone")and probably went on way before working for the same company as me. This behavior is so central to them, their whole socialization process, that if it suddenly ceased: if they came in to work and got to it without meddling or stirring up trouble, you'd either suspect head trauma or be looking around for pods.

Likewise the Town Crier. His deeply ingrained socialization process is not so much to stir up trouble in a given community or setting as to balkanize it. To divide people into 'in' groups and 'out' groups, with himself in the 'in' group of course: always a small and exclusive membership. And he does this in just about every social setting he finds himself in, just as second nature as the 'rabble-rouser' does their thing. He just kicks into automatic, and some sort of polarity is set up between who's "in" and who's "out". I've seen him do it, time after time after time after time. Again, if he were to suddenly open up and be more accepting, less judgmental, less insecure, you'd figure it was either a pretty good bump on the noggin or Body Snatcher time. I think if I ever heard him say, in reference to some bit of potential gossip: "well gee Rog, that's none of my business.", I'd probably faint.

End of the character. Maybe the character as such is part of one's purpose in life, that is to overcome its imperfections, its insecurities. And once that is achieved, it's the end of your 'mission' here. If Frank Burns were to suddenly become liberalized, he'd have a satori moment- and then get hit by a Bus.