another of Rog's endless introspections

I'll just bet that there's no one in the world sorrier than me to see the weekend come to an end every week. Especially if it's been a creative weekend, one in which much musicmaking and/or blogging occurred. You don't want to let go of the dream.

In the office where I work, I'm probably the biggest curmudgeon of 'em all on Monday morning. Where everybody else arrives happily back to work, making lively conversation about their weekend, I'm a total crabass, just making my way to my desk in stony silence. Buoyed by several cups of coffee, I begin my descent(or would it be an ascent)into the workweek, outwardly acquiescent but inwardly kicking and screaming. Eventually, around 9ish, some sociability starts to return, and I chat with my co-workers about the day's topics. They usually know to give me an hour before talking to me. "Gee, did I say 'good morning'?"

My shift begins at 8, but my day starts around 7 in the am, jarred into awareness by my alarm clock or just something in my subconscious telling me to get up and get moving. From there, I feed my three pets, fix myself some coffee and down my three meds. I usually have a nice 30-minute window in which to sit at the dining room table, drinking coffee and feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes I'll work a Sudoku puzzle, which usually abates the morning self-pity by distracting my brain..

My workday ends at 4:30, at which point I return home. From there, I again feed my three pets and often pour myself a beer(especially early in the week)- and then have maybe a 60-minute window in which to sit at the computer drinking beer(and, if it's been a bad day, feeling sorry for myself). Quite often though, I'll listen to jazz with my beer, which usually quells any self-pity. From there, seven hours remain.

I look at my days in terms of "pockets of time". Each workday has that morning half-hour(Sudoku n' self-pity), that midday 20 minutes, and then roughly 8 hours in the evening. Actually, that's a fair chunk o' change. I tend to savor the half-hour and 20 minute pockets more since they're smaller, but could always make more intelligent use of the 8 hours in the evening(currently misusing it by drinking beer and blogging).

It would be nice, ideally, if I could see my life as one fluid process, as one seamless motion in which the dichotomy of "work" and "play" didn't exist. Then there would be no dread of Monday, since all days and times of day are just part of the dance. Well I'd like to be taller too, but that ain't gonna happen either.

No, work is work and play is play. There are just parts of your day, of your life, which are nicht zu fun, that you have to simply get through. No savoring involved. Just get 'em over with. I was thinking maybe I compartmentalize too much, but in reality I don't do it enough. Particularly on that 8-hour stretch between 4:30pm and 12:30am.

Another noble resolve: to make better use of my time. Especially since for the most part, only a third of it is for my personal use-the other two thirds spent working and sleeping. We'll see how it all plays out..