Halcyon Daze

I've remarked, often enough at any rate, that I'd like to be a cartoon character. Well, no, not necessarily someone else's drawing, but more in the sense that I'd like to have some of the properties of cartoon characters: they go through some of the vicissitudes of life but never age! The things and people around them don't wither up and die like they do in real life.

Everything stays the same.

Of course, you'd need to pick the time carefully in which you were "frozen". There are a few years I'd never want to go back to. 1967 was such a year. Seventh grade- a terrible experience. 1984 was another tough year, on several counts, but at least ended with me on the road(which made a lot of stuff better). 1991-92 was yet another rough patch, with a brand-new job I seemed to be learning trial by fire.

Strangely enough, each of these bad periods was followed by a much better one. In the Eighth Grade I had a whole different circle of friends and a more congenial social life; in 1985 I was out on the road and light years away from all the crap in Springfield that'd gotten on my nerves; and in 1993--well actually I got laid-off from my job in '93 and also went through a divorce, so in that instance I went from one bad scene to another. But after that things improved. At least there was no more "trial by fire" on my dayjob.

Still, those are years I'd never want to repeat, even if they did clear the way for better times. Even if it is, as they say, all good. All part of the process. After all, we're here for the experience.

Aren't we?

But as far as that experience, there are a few fine patches from my life I wouldn't mind putting repeat marks on. Whether I learned anything from them is beside the point, but they sure went down easy:

About six to eight months in 2008. A job assignment I'd been on since the previous November had settled in and become blissfully comfortable. I've had some nice times on my job(along with a lotta shitty ones), but I was probably the happiest I've been at work. It continued into the following year, still palatable but not as nice as that period in '08.

From July of '87 into 1988. This was a good period on several counts. I'd just started seeing a new girl, whom I ended up marrying in '88(and divorcing in '93, but oh well); my brother had just started seeing a girl himself, whom he ended up marrying(and yes, divorcing); and our folks had just retired from their jobs.

This is the period I'd like to be frozen in, that eighteen month stretch. Well actually there's about a week and a half to two solid weeks in there where every night the wife(or was she still a fiancee?)would come in the bedroom and say "I'm going to take my bath and then come in and boink you". And she did. I mean, there were plenty of other times, but I do remember a concentrated little slab of time where it was a nightly occurrence. I could've used a couple years of that..

So we were all four in a good place. My Dad had finally gotten to retire, something he'd wanted for years, Mom was also enjoying the additional free time, and my bro was enjoying his new girlfriend. 1987. A blessed year, at least in memory. The Roundly's and girlfriends: a cartoon family set in 1987..

The problem with real life is that everything runs its course. My folks enjoyed their retirement, but they started to get on each other's nerves(though not seriously)and then Dad got sick and died, leaving Mom to hang in there until she finally got sick and died. My wife and I, after an idyllic beginning, had personality differences that surfaced after awhile and turned us apart. We scraped by on our low-paying jobs(another tension) and much help from my folks, and oddly enough, once I got a decent-paying job we split up. And my brother had his host o' troubles(I'll let him tell you!).

And the problem with being a cartoon character, as desirable as keeping everything nice may be, is that it's static. Then again, with everything set for optimum comfort(72 degrees, no money or health troubles), the mind is free to roam and contemplate the higher truths in life- much like Maslow's "actualized" man's hierarchy of needs. Naah. Your personal paradigm would be something like a map of Pleasantville, where Elm St always turns back into Spruce St.

Stoopid Street. But all in all, being a cartoon character in the year of your choosing would be more- pleasant, soporific or not. Especially if in every strip, you're reading in bed and your wife(or was it fiancee?)comes in and says, "Well, I'm going to take my bath and then come in and boink you!"

Well I might as well face it. I can't be a cartoon character, but I'd like to be the guy in the picture for awhile longer, especially at bedtime. Seems like the best we can do in life is to have it pretty good for awhile in there, on as many occasions as we can muster. '89 was a pretty good year too, as memory serves.

At the moment I'm working on 2011.