Thursday, October 27, 2011

Celebrities' Real Names

There are a number of us at work who have an affinity for trivia. I have participated in a couple of Trivia Night events over the past year or so, and had a ball with it. One category that's come up is Celebrities' Real Names. Someone brought in a list, courtesy of the internet. Naturally I got a copy of it..

Here is a list of all the ones I can remember, some from the list and others I just knew. Interesting to note the differences between the nom de voyage and the real name: the stage name is either more anglicized(more white-bread)or just more euphonious or exciting.

Judy Garland--Frances Gumm
Jack Benny- Benjamin Kubelsky
Jane Seymour--Joyce Frankenberg
Woody Allen- Allen Stuart Konigsberg
George Burns- Nathan Bierbaum
Mel Brooks- Melvin Kaminsky
John Denver--Henry John Deutschendorf
Sally Field- Sally Mahoney
Rock Hudson--Roy Scherer Jr
Suzanne Somers- Suzanne Mahoney
Danny Thomas--Muzyad Yakoob
Angie Dickinson- Angelina Johnson
Kirk Douglas--Issur Demsky
Billie Holliday- Eleanora Fagan
Karl Malden--Mladen Sekulovich
Orson Bean--Dallas Burrows
Jerry Lewis--Joseph Levitch
Red Buttons--Aaron Chwatt
John Forsythe--John Lincoln Freund
Michael Landon--Eugene Michael Orwitz
Bea Arthur--Bernice Frankel
Gene Wilder--Jerome Silberman
Robert Blake--Michael Gubitosi
Tony Randall--Leonard Rosenberg
Tammy Wynette--Wynetta Pugh
Jimmy Dean--Seth Ward
Eric Clapton--Eric Clapp
Huey Lewis--Hugh Cregg
Sandra Dee--Alexandra Zuck
Bobby Darin--Walden Robert Cassotto
Alan Alda--Alfonso D'Arbruzzo
Eddie Albert--Edward Albert Heimberger
Lee J Cobb--Lee Jacob
Ellen Burstyn--Edna Gilhooley
Whoopi Goldberg--Caryn Johnson
Dean Martin--Dino Crocetti
Inger Stevens--Inger Stensen
Shelley Winters--Shirley Schrift
Shirley Booth--Thelma Booth Ford
Nicholas Cage--Nicholas Coppola
Tony Danza--Anthony Iadanza
Jill St John--Jill Oppenheim
Raquel Welch--Raquel Tejada
Lauren Bacall--Betty Joan Perske
Michael Caine--Maurice Mickelwhite
Jamie Farr--Jameel Farah
Jodie Foster--Alicia Christian Foster
Elvis Costello- Declan McManus
Roy Rogers-- Leonard Slye
Dale Evans--Frances Octavia Smith
Natalie Wood--Natasha Gurdin
Lana Wood--Svetlana Gurdin
William Holden--William Franklin Beedle Jr
Ted Knight--Tadeus Konopka
Anne Bancroft--Anna Italiano
Shirley MacLaine--Shirley Beaty
Martin Sheen-- Ramon Estevez
Charlie Sheen--Carlos Estevez
Ringo Starr--Richard Starkey
Richard Burton--Richard Jenkins
Twiggy--Leslie Hornby
Les Paul--Lester Polfus
John Wayne--Marian Michael Morrison
Larry King--Larry Ziegler
Bernadette Peters--Bernadette Lazzaro
Cheryl Ladd--Cheryl Stoppelmoor
Chad Everett--Raymond Compton
Cary Grant--Archibald Leach
Burl Ives--Berle Ivanhoe
Diane Keaton--Diane Hall
Michael Keaton--Michael Douglas
Tom Cruise--Thomas Cruise Mapother IV
Harry Morgan-Harry Bratsburg
Lou Diamond Phillips--Lou Upchurch
Tim Allen--Timothy Allen Dick
Tina Turner--Annie Mae Bullock
Bobbie Gentry--Roberta Streeter
Mark Twain--Samuel Langhorne Clemens
George Orwell--Eric Blair
Candace Azzara--Matilda Azzara
Billy Idol--William Board
Sting--Gordon Sumner
Donna Summer- LaDonna Andrea Gaines
Don Ameche--Dominic Amici
Pat Benatar--Patricia Andrezewski
Crystal Gayle--Brenda Webb
Muhammed Ali--Cassius Clay
Barry Manilow--Barry Alan Pincus
Marilyn Monroe--Norma Jean Baker
Chevy Chase--Cornelius Crane Chase
Bob Hope--Leslie Towne Hope
Lou Costello--Louis Cristillo
Rodney Dangerfield--Jacob Cohen
Kim Hunter--Janet Cole
Meatloaf--Marvin Lee Adair
Troy Donahue--Merle Johnson Jr
Moe Howard--Moses Horwitz
Curly Howard--Jerome Horwitz
Shemp Howard--Samuel Horwitz
Olivia Hussey--Olivia Osuna
Tony Bennett--Antonio Benedetto
Sophia Loren- Sofia Scicolono
Sigourney Weaver--Susan Weaver
Dyan Cannon- Samile Diane Fiersen
Pat Martino- Pat Azzara
Fred Astaire- Frederick Austerlitz
Joan Crawford- Lucille LeSeure
Morgan Fairchild- Patsy Ann McClenny
Roger U Roundly--Sam Crain(who?)

Okay, that's all my brain can muster in this sitting. More than a few others, but seemingly half-remembered. Seems like these could easily be categorized into Actors/Actresses, Authors, Musicians, and General Celebs. Maybe next time. Hope you enjoy these. Might be one in here you didn't know.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Celebrity Dump

I guess I'm thinking along the lines of a Reality TV Show, where different celebrities are filmed performing that usually brief but intimate personal act of elimination. Not too graphic, necessarily, most shots from the waist up would be fine- but we'd definitely want to catch that furrowed brow, that frown which signifies that a loaf is indeed being pinched. The act of defecation, which makes it a --Celebrity Dump.

Of course, this is where the actor's craft comes in. The struggle to release that recalcitrant rectal rocket, that leviathan Lincoln Log of fecal matter, and how that plays on his or her face. Or they could play it in less epic terms, as an everyday event, or with great subtlety of understatement. But this would be the climactic point of each celebrity episode: the release, and how it's played on the face of each celebrity taking a dump.

Now I didn't mean for this to include only the theatrical community(that would be Shitting with the Stars). No, Celebrity Dump would include celebrated persons who are not and will(hopefully)never be actors: politicians, lawyers, doctors, you name it just as long as they're--celebrated. Not too graphic, mind you--mostly shot from the waist up, but the wiping and flushing would be filmed in some manner.

No, the main thrust of this series is that all the people taking dumps are celebrated persons. People whose lives we often live vicariously. People we'd often rather be than ourselves. Sorta like Ozzy(???).