Monday, November 25, 2013

Charlie the Tumor

Well I can always tell when I've gone too far in a verbal exchange, when I've hit just that nth degree of crassness, crossed that line by however many centimeters.Whether in person or online, there's that pregnant silence that tells me that once again in this life, I've made a faux pas

 This last one happened on Facebook. A few of us  were talking about a friend who'd passed away. His name was Charlie, and he tuned pianos for a living- hence the occasional dubbing of Charlie the Tuner. In the spirit of such riffing, I came up with a variation on Charlie-the-tuner, which, as it turned out, would educate kids about Cancer.

Yes, you guessed it(and I'm sure, not without a groan).A cartoon character called Charlie the Tumor. Of course they'd have to tone down the characterization: instead of the monster it is, they'd have to make Charlie merely grumpy--maybe like Bert on Sesame Street. And of course the ideal prognosis would be Sorry, Charlie. 

Actually, Charlie the Tuna had a death wish. You'd think he'd want to avoid being someone's dinner, happy to just live out his marine life in the sea- or whatever body of water he calls home. Or maybe it was all a ploy. Maybe he was just trying to defect. 

Anyway, Charlie the Tumor was, I guess, yet another of my harebrained ideas. Seemed funny between my ears, but sometimes when these nutty notions hit the atmosphere, they just evaporate, leaving a- pregnant silence.

Sorry, Roger. 

Binge Viewing

One of my retirement "projects" has been to obtain all the seasons of The Sopranos. Marvelous show. Saw every episode as they were aired, and then some. From beginning to end.
My re-viewing of them has been anything but chronological. I've seen, in this order, the 4th, 5th, 3rd, 6th(part 1),6th(part 2- really, Season 7, but, God knows why, they packaged it this way)1st and 2nd seasons--but somehow it all ties together in my head. 

Something I've long resolved to do was have every season of this very well-made show, and I now have the complete collection. Sopranos from stem to stern. These are things you do in retirement. I guess this falls, however loosely, under projects..

I was a fan of this show when it was on HBO, and have seen it from start to finish, but not in the 6 years since its last season. So now I have the whole story, with its many characters(like Dostoevsky, only with Italian names, as far as that goes), its many twists and turns, moves and counter-moves(the assassinations between the rival gangs: NY and NJ, tend to follow a move/counter-move sort of pattern), and its eventual cataclysmic ending with the gang-warfare version of WWIII. 

Like all binge viewings, you eventually get to that last episode. There's no more story. They're showing a cartoon at this point, or sweeping the floors and imploring the people still watching to get the f*ck out. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here. Time to move on. 

And there are always other long-running series' to get all engrossed in. I've done St Elsewhere as well, and Six Feet Under. And naturally The Twilight Zone(which I still revisit--yes, in more ways than one..). And there are a few more I can think of right off the bat that are probably fodder for future binges: Hill Street Blues, Northern Exposure.

In my retirement, one thing I don't think I'll ever run out of is binge material. If so, just put my ass Six Feet Under

I'm Proud to be a White American

I imagine snacks of some kind are served here. Must have some sort of refreshment to relieve the rigors of -well, what they do. Beer, soft drinks, and some sort of cheese n' cracker configuration. And when it comes to cheese, no doubt the cheese of choice, the favored fromage, at these events would be White American. 
     Perhaps just a coincidence, something I noticed buying groceries this morning, something that practically jumped out of the dairy section: American and White American cheese displayed side by side. Juxtaposed, if you will, for all to see. But maybe more...
     Maybe segregation starts in the dairy section. Maybe it starts with the cheese.